Backup – What you do when you run across a varmint in the woods.

Bug – The reason you give for calling in sick to work.

Byte – What your pitbull done to cousin Billy-Bob.

Chip – Cow pasture surprises that you try not to step in.

Terminal – When yer about to die.

Crash – When you go to Jethros party uninvited.

Digital – The art of counting on yer fingers.

Diskette – Female who dances the disco.

Fax – What you lie about to the IRS and yer wife.

Hacker – Uncle Willie after 32 years of smoking.

Hardcopy – Picture used to help you select a tattoos.

Internet – Where cafeteria ladies put their hair.

Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to yer John Deere.

Mac – Big Johns favorite fast food.

Megahertz – How your head feels after 13 beers.

Modem – What you do when the grass gets so high that it hides the pickup truck that you have on blocks in the front yard.

Mouse Pad – Where Mickey and Minnie call home.

Network – Scoopin a big fish before it breaks yer line.

ROM – Where the pope lives.

Screen – Keeps mosquitoes outta yer trailer.

Serial Port – A red wine you drink with yer breakfast.

Superconductor – The guy who yells All Aboard the loudest at a train station.

SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) – What you call your two-week-old underwear.