How not to lose your partner

Heres a tip for those of you who dont want their partner to leave them.

While they are asleep, put a few nicorette patches (nicotine patches for people trying to give up smoking) on their arm. Remove them before they wake up.

Keep doing this for a while until they are up to the equivalent of about 60 cigarettes a day.

Then, if they should ever leave you theyll get such awful cravings that theyll think they must still love you and come back.

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