How to leave the planet

Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731) 483-3111. Explain that its very important that you get away as soon as possible.
If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House – (202) 456-1414 – to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
If you dont have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They dont have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.v
If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that its vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

(Douglas Adams in prologue to the omnibus version of The Htchikers Guide To The Galaxy.)

Most viewed Jokes (20)