How to use bathroom scales

When using bathroom
scales, these simple rules must be followed:
1. Always place the scale on thick shag carpeting.
2. Hold tightly onto the sink or shower rod (both when possible) and
gradually release the weight of the body onto the scale.
3. Make sure needle placement is accurate by cautiously adjusting the
little round knob on the centre-front, very slowly to the left. (Zero
is a wide number and should be treated accordingly.)
4. WARNING: Stay away from digital scales. (They are not properly adjustable
and therefore inaccurate.)
5. Do not weigh yourself constantly. Every time you stand on the scales
it stretches the little springs and wing nuts inside and slowly presses
them flat – the result, even with no weight gain whatsoever, is that the
scale makes you appear to weigh a little more each time.

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