19
Oct

Hunting Lawyers

PC 370.00

A Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys

370.01.01 Any person with a valid California State Rodent or Snake
hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and
sport (non-commercial) purposes.

370.01.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The
use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.

370.01.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is
prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If
an attorney IS accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney
should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the
nearest car wash.

370.01.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power
boat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.01.05 It is unlawful to shout, WHIPLASH, AMBULANCE, or FREE
SCOTCH
for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

370.01.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW,
Mercedes
or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.

370.01.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
courtrooms,law
libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals, or brothels.

370.01.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have
a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

370.01.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter,
accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose
of hunting attorneys.

370.02. Bag Limits per day:

yellow-bellied sidewinders 2
two-faced tortfeasors 1
back-stabbing divorce litigators 3
horn-rimmed cut-throats 2
minutiae-advocating vultures 4
honest attorneys protected (endangered species)

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