THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = Youll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure… go ahead = I dont want you to Im not upset = Of course Im upset, you moron! Youre … so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot Im not emotional! And Im not overreacting! = Ive started my period This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper….. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = Im going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today youre really not going to like Ill be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, youre dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No Im sorry = Youll be sorry Do you like this recipe? = Its easy to fix, so youd better get used to it Was that the baby? = Why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep Im not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important All were going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that were stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

THE ANSWER TO WHATS WRONG? ***************************** The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Everything = PMS again. Nothing, really = Its just that youre such a pain. I dont want to talk about it = Go away, Im still building up steam

THE WOMENS GUIDE TO MENS ENGLISH: ———————————————————- Im hungry = Im hungry Im sleepy = Im sleepy Im tired = Im tired Whats wrong? = I dont see why you are making such a big deal out of this Whats wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesnt look that much different! Lets talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person. I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin dress and lets go home!