Ice Cream Parlor Emasculation

This is a true story, not a UL. Honest.

Years back, when my son was about 18 months old, I, my wife, and the kid
would go out for a hot fudge sundae every week, and split it three ways.
On one occasion, after I placed the order, the nubile young lady in the
local Baskin Robbins asked (with a bright smile that could have been
coquettish or merely polite) Would you like your nuts wet or dry, Sir?

I immediately choked. This was, after all, exactly the kind of line
every male dreams of. Then I glanced at my wife, who was glaring back at
me with a crimson complexion. Swallowing hard, I got a grip on my

Uh… No nuts, I replied. No nuts at all.

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