02
May

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation

Picard:
Sigma Indri, thats the star,

So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data:
Our ship can get there very fast

But still the trip will last and last

Well have two days til we arrive

But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge:
But, sir, the engines are offline!
Picard:
Offline! But why? I want to go!

Please make it so, please make it so!
Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we cant,

We cant, we mustnt, and we shant,

The danger here is far too great!
Picard:
But surely we must not be late!
Troi:
Im sensing anger and great ire.
Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ships on fire!
Picard:
The ships on fire? How could this be?

Who lit the fire?
Riker:
Not me.
Worf:
Not me.
Picard:
Computer, how long til we die?
Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data:
May I suggest a course to take?

We could, I think, quite safely make

Extinguishers from tractor beams

And stop the fire, or so it seems…
Geordi:
Hurray! Hurray! Youve saved the day!

Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Picard:
Mr. Data, thank you much.

Youve saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi:
We still must save the Indran planet —
Data:
Which (by the way) is made of granite…
Picard:
Enough, you android. Please desist.

We understand — we get your gist.

But can we get our ship to go?

Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
Geordi:
Theres sabotage among the wires

And thats what started all the fires.
Riker:
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!

We need to go! We need to go!
Troi:
We must seek out the traitor spy

And lock him up and ask him why?
Worf:
Ask him why? How sentimental.

I say give him problems dental.
Troi:
Are any Romulan ships around?

Have scanners said that theyve been found?

Or is it Borg or some new threat

We havent even heard of yet?

I sense no malice in this crew.

Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher:
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.

They cry out, Help us, clothe us, feed us!

I cant just sit and let them die!

A doctor MUST attempt — MUST try!
Picard:
Doctor, please, well get there soon.
Crusher:
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK

HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*
Worf:
The saboteur is in the brig.

Hes very strong and very big.

I had my phaser set on stun —

A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!

He would not budge, he would not fall,

He would not stun, no, not at all!

He changed into a stranger form

All soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard:
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?

Did you see this creature morph?
Worf:
I did and then I beat him fairly.

Hit him on the jaw — quite squarely.
Riker:
My commendations, Klingon friend!

Our troubles now are at an end!
Crusher:
Now lets get our ship to fly

And orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard:
LaForge, please tell me we can go…?
Geordi:
Yes, sir, we can.
Picard:
Then make it so!

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