1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

2. If you dont want to dress like Victorias Secret, girls, dont expect us to act like soap opera guys.

3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or

angry, we meant the other way.

4. It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

5. Let us ogle. If we dont look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

6. Dont rub the lamp if you dont want the genie to come out.

7. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done – not both.

8. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

9. Christopher Columbus didnt need directions and neither do we.

10. Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

11. When were turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying This is our exit is not necessary.

12. Dont fake it. Wed rather be ineffective than deceived.