03
Apr

If She Married Him, Shed Be…

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, shed be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, shed be Dolly Dali.

If Bo Derek married Don Ho, shed be Bo Ho.

If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, shed be Oprah Chopra.

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! its the 90s!, hed be

Cat Doggy Dogg.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, shed be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, shed become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, shed be Bea Sting.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, shed be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, hed be Snoop Doggy Dogg

Pooh.

How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, hed be Boog Alou.

If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to

marry Kenny G., hed be G. Ghali G.

Nog (Quarks brother on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. IF he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, hed be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.

If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, shed be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.

If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, hed be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory

Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, hed be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in

show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin

Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all

nod understandingly when we heard, Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short

Guy.

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