·There would be 10 times as many people in the ship

·There would be a song with Kate Winslett in a white sari, singing in the rain.

·By the end of the movie, hero would find his long lost Mom, Dad, sis and bhai

·It would be a seven-and-a-half-hour movie with three intervals. The movie would be called Pyar Kiya to Marna Kya?

·The hero and the heroine would float in the cold water for days and still survive while the villain would die in the first few drops.

·The iceberg was sent by the heroine’s father to teach a lesson to the hero.

·None of the women would float because of the saris.

·The orchestra would play Jai Santoshi Maa and a ray of light would come and transport the musicians to another ship.

·And can you imagine how many times we would hear bachaoo?