In Praise of Older Women (in tribute to Falconwing)

An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night & ask you, What are you thinking? An older woman doesnt care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets … which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so theres no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if youre acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know… Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women cant help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey. An older woman will never accuse you of using her. Shes using you. Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call… Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut take out. An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when shes with you, in case you get any ideas… Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they al

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