28
Nov

## In the early seventies, Ed

In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran his game, and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer.
Eric was playing a Paladin in Eds game. He was on some lords lands when the following exchange occurred: ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) Its white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) Its about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: Its not good, Eric. Its a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It wont answer. Its a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, its a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasnt it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! ITS A GAZEBO!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: Its a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I dont know why anybody would even try. Its a @#\$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) Its too late. Youve awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe Ill roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin. At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have bee