20
May

Installing Windows XP (off. to Microsoft)

You are attempting to install Windows XP. Are you sure you want to continue?

Yes.

Are you really sure?

Yes.

Are you really, really sure?

YES!

Ok, then. Just so you know, were required to ask you that now. Its all your fault for being a picky consumer and supporting that whole anti-trust nonsense. Ingrate!

Just get on with it.

Attempting to install Windows XP. First we need to check your system for compatibility. This could take several days.

Groan …

The install program has detected several possible problems and will not let you install XP.

Problems? What problems?

The video card you are using apparently does not work with the motherboard.

But Im using it at this very moment.

That is irrelevant.

But if the video card isnt working with the motherboard, then I cant very well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasnt …

Do not attempt to fool me with logic, I am a Microsoft product. Logic does not work on me. I have also found the following minor errors: Windows XP is incompatible with the following hardware: monitor, keyboard, memory chips, motherboard bios, web cam, scanner, sound card, USB controller, CD/R drive, microphone, and flight stick.

All that?

Yes. And the hard drive is right out too. We dont like the manufacturer.

Well, what *DOES* work?

The mouse.

The mouse???

Yes. And the 5 1/4 drive.

I dont have a 5 1/4 drive.

Yes, you do.

No, I dont.

Whats that, then?

Its a 3 1/2 drive.

No, it isnt.

Yes, it is.

… Hey, what is that? What are you doing? Is that a disk? What are you doing with that disk? Youre not putting it in the drive, are you? You are!!! Whats on that disk?? Is that DOS? Youre installing DOS?!? Why would you install DOS when I am infinitely more powe …

C:

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