(Forwarding this gem from one of my discussion groups. Nearly laughed my Byrd off. The poster could neither confirm nor deny authorship.)

Internet Response to the Communications Decency Act

With the passing of the Communications Decency Act, we urge all people wishing to use electronic communications, but forced to limit their language and thus risk confusion, to consider using the following list of substitute words, which we feel the Senators involved will be reluctant to ban or censor:

Byrd:Noun:The posterior or hinder parts, specifically the anus.
Coats:Noun:Excrement, or as a verb to excrete.
Exon:Verb:To copulate with, the act of copulation.
Gorton:Noun:The female genitals, or specifically the vagina.
Gramm:Verb:To achieve orgasm. Also colloquially used as a noun.
Heflin:Noun:The female secondary sexual characteristics.
Helms:Noun:The male phallus.

An example of this usage might be as follows:

Exon me !, she cried, as I licked her hot wet Gorton. She writhed under my teasing tongue as her Gramm washed over her, her juices pouring out. I moved up to suck and nibble her Heflins, only to have her clutch my Byrd, and drive my aching Helms into her waiting Gorton. Coats!, she said, Were being quoted in a political text!

In closing, wed like to thank Senators Exon and Gorton for their sterling work in attempting to clean up the Internet. We hope that this immodest proposal will let them know just how much we appreciate it, and that they should rest assured that we will do our part in making sure their names are never forgotten.

Perhaps U.S. citizens should edit this document to include senators from their state who supported this measure. Net citizens, feel free to add comments on any or all of these Byrds.

A special thanks to Hawaii Senators:

Daniel Inouye: Verb: To kick back and force others to fulfill ones most outrageous fantasies, or as a noun, one who cannot Gramm any other way.

Daniel Akaka: Noun: The afterglow of nonconsensual Byrd sex, or as a verb, instilling this feeling in others.

[Note: Free distribution and editing of this text is encouraged, provided no person attempts to claim copyright]