05
Jul

Is It Time to go Home

1. Your Imbruglia hairdo has turned into a Bronwyn Bishop …. and youve stopped caring.



2. You have absolutely no idea where youre shoes are.



3. The Chicken Dance Song seems like a really good tune.



4. You mistake a police car from a cab and shout obscenities when it doesnt stop for you.



5. Youve started having a row with yourself. Out loud.



6. Youve just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies loo because you tried twice and ended up on the floor on your bum…..And it was wet.



7. You bump into people on their way to work.



8. You keep dancing into people and youve fallen off the podium – twice.



9. Theyve stacked all the chairs and turned the lights on.



10. Youve been flashing your boobs at passers by.



11. Creme De Menthe, Advocaat or Grenadine suddenly seem to be viable drink options.



12. You start crying.



13. You cant stop.



14. There are less than three hours before youre due to start work.



15. Youve found a deeper side to the office nerd.



16. The man youre pashing used to be your 5th grade teacher.



17. The urge to take all your clothes off, stand on a table and sing Fever become strangely overwhelming.



18. Youve forgotten where you live.



19. You seem to be seeing more of the toilet bowl than the dance floor.



20. Youve just sung Im horny, horny horny horny … to a passing police man.



21. You notice that theres vomit on your dress and suspect that its yours.



22. Youve started to sound like Tommy Raudonikis from the 60 fags youve smoked.



23. You keep missing your mouth with your drink.



24. You cant taste the gin in your gin and tonic.



25. You think youre in bed but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.



26. You tell your worst enemy that youve always loved her really.



27. The stairs take on the appearance of that really really really steep slippery dip at Luna Park.



28. Youve started offering oral pleasure to any male wholl listen.



29. You start every conversation with, Dont take this the wrong way but…



30. You fail to notice that the toilet lids down when you sit on it.



31. You challenge the doorman to an arm wrestling competition.



32. You have to be restrained from stage-diving from the top of the stairs.



33. Youre sitting on the floor. On your own.



34. You show your mates that girls can wee standing up if they really want to.



35. You decide to audition for StarSearch via the security cameras.



36. You rediscover your childhood gymnastic skills. On Hay Street.



37. You realise why you gave up gymnastics.



38. You think three blokes are chatting you up when theres actually only one.



39. You drop your 3am burger on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.



40. The entire club has seen your pants. Twice



41. Most of them against their will.



42. You cant see you own face to reapply your long gone make-up. And you have profoundly discovered that your mascara tastes like chicken.

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