Its a guy thing.
Really means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,
and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
Can I help with dinner?
Really means: Why isnt it already on the table?
Uh huh, Sure, honey, or Yes, dear.
Really means: Absolutely nothing. Its a conditioned response.
It would take too long to explain.
Really means: I have no idea how it works.
Im getting more exercise lately.
Really means: The batteries in the remote are dead.
Were going to be late.
Really means: Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.
Take a break, honey, youre working too hard.
Really means: I cant hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
Thats interesting, dear.
Really means: Are you still talking?
Honey, we dont need material things to prove our love.
Really means: I forgot our anniversary again.
You expect too much of me.
Really means: You want me to stay awake.
Thats womens work.
Really means: Its difficult, dirty, and thankless.
You know how bad my memory is.
Really means: I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car Ive ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
Oh, dont fuss. I just cut myself, its no big deal.
Really means: I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit Im hurt.
I do help around the house.
Really means: I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.
Hey, Ive got my reasons for what Im doing.
Really means: I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.
I cant find it.
Really means: It didnt fall into my outstretched hands, so Im completely clueless.
What did I do this time?
Really means: What did you catch me doing?
I heard you.
Really means: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you dont spend the next 3 days yelling at me.
You look terrific.
Really means: Oh, please dont try on one more outfit. Im starving.
I missed you.
Really means: I cant find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper.
Im not lost. I know exactly where we are.
Really means: Im lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again.
We share the housework.
Really means: I make the messes, you clean them up.
This relationship is getting too serious.
Really means: Youre cutting into the time I spend with my truck.
I dont need to read the instructions.
Really means: I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.
10
Jul
Additional Jokes From "General / Unsorted"
- How to use an ATM machine…
- At the blood donor clinic
- The Boy Who Wrote To God
- New Programming Language: C + –
- Afrer heart attack
- Few occupational hazards
- X-Files: The science adviser to whaaat?
- Knock, Knock
- Bill Collector
- Jobs and Work joke #11019
- After 3 husbands – still virgin (Risque)
- Dont Ask . . . Dont Tell . . .
- Survey on italian men
- Smoke rings
- Clinton Strikes again