Its a Guy Thing………

Its a guy thing.

Really means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,

and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

Can I help with dinner?

Really means: Why isnt it already on the table?

Uh huh, Sure, honey, or Yes, dear.

Really means: Absolutely nothing. Its a conditioned response.

It would take too long to explain.

Really means: I have no idea how it works.

Im getting more exercise lately.

Really means: The batteries in the remote are dead.

Were going to be late.

Really means: Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.

Take a break, honey, youre working too hard.

Really means: I cant hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

Thats interesting, dear.

Really means: Are you still talking?

Honey, we dont need material things to prove our love.

Really means: I forgot our anniversary again.

You expect too much of me.

Really means: You want me to stay awake.

Thats womens work.

Really means: Its difficult, dirty, and thankless.

You know how bad my memory is.

Really means: I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car Ive ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

Oh, dont fuss. I just cut myself, its no big deal.

Really means: I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit Im hurt.

I do help around the house.

Really means: I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.

Hey, Ive got my reasons for what Im doing.

Really means: I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.

I cant find it.

Really means: It didnt fall into my outstretched hands, so Im completely clueless.

What did I do this time?

Really means: What did you catch me doing?

I heard you.

Really means: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you dont spend the next 3 days yelling at me.

You look terrific.

Really means: Oh, please dont try on one more outfit. Im starving.

I missed you.

Really means: I cant find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper.

Im not lost. I know exactly where we are.

Really means: Im lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again.

We share the housework.

Really means: I make the messes, you clean them up.

This relationship is getting too serious.

Really means: Youre cutting into the time I spend with my truck.

I dont need to read the instructions.

Really means: I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.

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