Jewish Haiku

After the warm rain

the sweet smell of camellias.

Did you wipe your feet?


Her lips near my ear,

Aunt Sadie whispers the name

of her friends disease.


Today I am a man.

Tomorrow I will return

to the seventh grade.


Testing the warm milk

on her wrist, she sighs softly.

But her son is forty.


The sparkling blue sea

reminds me to wait an hour

after my sandwich.


Lacking fins or tail

the gefilte fish swims with

great difficulty.


Like a bonsai tree,

your terrible posture

at my dinner table.


Beyond Valium,

the peace of knowing ones child

is an internist.


Jews on safari —

map, compass, elephant gun,

hard sucking candies.


The same kimono

the top geishas are wearing:

I got it at Loehmanns.


The shivah visit:

so sorry about your loss.

Now back to my problems.


Mom, please! There is no

need to put that dinner roll

in your pocketbook.


Seven-foot Jews in

the NBA slam-dunking!

My alarm clock rings.


Sorry Im not home

to take your call. At the tone

please state your bad news.


Is one Nobel Prize

so much to ask from a child

after all Ive done?


Today, mild shvitzing.

Tomorrow, so hot youll plotz.

Five-day forecast: feh



Left the door open

for the Prophet Elijah.

Now our cat is gone.


Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.

Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah

Oy! To be fluent!


Quietly murmured

at Saturday services,

Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.


A lovely nose ring,

excuse me while I put my

head in the oven.


Hard to tell under the lights.

White Yarmulke or

male-pattern baldness.

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