10
May

Jewish Haiku

After the warm rain


the sweet smell of camellias.


Did you wipe your feet?


*****


Her lips near my ear,


Aunt Sadie whispers the name


of her friends disease.


*****


Today I am a man.


Tomorrow I will return


to the seventh grade.


*****


Testing the warm milk


on her wrist, she sighs softly.


But her son is forty.


*****


The sparkling blue sea


reminds me to wait an hour


after my sandwich.


*****


Lacking fins or tail


the gefilte fish swims with


great difficulty.


*****


Like a bonsai tree,


your terrible posture


at my dinner table.


*****


Beyond Valium,


the peace of knowing ones child


is an internist.


*****


Jews on safari —


map, compass, elephant gun,


hard sucking candies.


*****


The same kimono


the top geishas are wearing:


I got it at Loehmanns.


*****


The shivah visit:


so sorry about your loss.


Now back to my problems.


*****


Mom, please! There is no


need to put that dinner roll


in your pocketbook.


*****


Seven-foot Jews in


the NBA slam-dunking!


My alarm clock rings.


*****


Sorry Im not home


to take your call. At the tone


please state your bad news.


*****


Is one Nobel Prize


so much to ask from a child


after all Ive done?


*****


Today, mild shvitzing.


Tomorrow, so hot youll plotz.


Five-day forecast: feh


*****


Passover



Left the door open


for the Prophet Elijah.


Now our cat is gone.


*****


Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.


Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah


Oy! To be fluent!


*****


Quietly murmured


at Saturday services,


Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.


*****


A lovely nose ring,


excuse me while I put my


head in the oven.


****


Hard to tell under the lights.


White Yarmulke or


male-pattern baldness.

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