24
Nov

Jewish Quiz Show

Kosher Millionaire



You have been selected to play So You Wouldnt Mind Being a Kosher Millionaire…You Should Only Live So Long. You have three lifelines to help you, as follows:



1. You may call a Rabbi for his opinion.


2. You may ask the congregation for their opinion.


3. You may consider your spouses opinion … or not.



Bonus lifeline! Whether you ask for it or not, your Mother will give you her opinion.



Lets play…



For $100



Q. What is the name of the Russian Space Station that crashed and burned on re-entry?


A. Oy Vey is Mir



For $200



Q. How does a Jewish woman call her family to dinner?


A. All right, everybody get in the car.



For $500



Q. Who is Israels favorite Internet provider?


A. Netanyahoo.



For $1,000



Q. What is the name of a facial lotion made for Jewish women?


A. Oil of Oy Vey.



For $2,000



Q. What is the title of the new horror film for Jewish women?


A. Debbie Does Windows



For! !$4,000



Q. What is the technical term for a Jewish woman who catches her husband in the act with his secretary?


A. The Plaintiff.



For $8,000



Q. How does a Jewish kid verbally abuse his playmates?


A. Nyah, nyah, your mother pays retail.



For $16,000



Q. In the Jewish doctrine, when does the fetus become human?


A. When it graduates from medical school.



For $32,000



Q. What do Jewish women do to keep their hands soft and nails long and beautiful?


A. Nothing.



For $64,000



Q. Define Genius.


A. A C student with a Jewish mother.



For $125,000



Q. How do you know when a Jewish woman is about to have an orgasm?


A. She puts down her nail file.



For $250,000



Q. When should a Moyel retire?


A. When he cant cut it anymore.



For $500,000



Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?


A. A fur coat.



For $1,000,000



Q. What is the difference between a Jewish Grandmother and an Italian Grandmother?


A. The accent.

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