Q: Why dont Jewish mothers drink?


A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror movie ?


A: Its called Debbie Does Dishes.

Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?


A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

Q: Whats a Jewish American Princess favorite position?


A: Facing Bloomingdales

When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied, So did my arthritis.

A man calls his mother in Florida. Mom, how are you?


Not too good,says the mother. Ive been very weak.


The son says, Why are you so weak?


She says, Because I havent eaten in 38 days.


The man says, Thats terrible. Why havent you eaten in 38 days?


The mother answers, Because I didnt want my mouth filled with food if you called.

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother hes been given a part in the school play.


Wonderful. What part is it?


The boy says,I play the part of the Jewish husband.


The mother scowls and says, Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.

Q. Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?


A. Under the vacuum cleaner.

Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?


A. (Sigh) Dont bother, Ill sit in the dark, I dont want to be a nuisance to anybody.