Job Position Ad for SoulWaste

Join the dynamic team here at SoulWaste. We want people who
believe in the hi-tech religion and who are willing to work 60 hour
weeks under florescent lights in grey buildings with windows that
dont open. After all, the earth will stop rotating on its axis
if our product doesnt get out the door before the competition.

You must be a mindless zealot whos idea of a good time is
playing MacIntosh computer games on nights and weekends and whos
conversations with other people sound like a Wang commercial.
You must believe in the Yuppie vision of the world as shown in
Wang, H-P, and AT&T commercials where people are shown thinking
about their job while swimming or walking their dog and where
everybody is inadequate if they havent purchased the latest
wiz-bang box or felt anxious guilt if their office system isnt
networked to everything more hi-tech than a Smith-Corona typewriter.

Yes, we dont just want your hours at SoulWaste–we want
your soul!!


Must be willing to sacrifice any semblance of
real life for carrots held at the end of sticks
Must have huge repertoire of computer buzzwords
in vocabulary.
Must feel the same degree of mania as company
management when products are late getting out
the door.
Must have no social life–cause were gonna
fatigue you so much you aint gonna have one
Oh, yeah, must know the C programming language.

Direct inquiries to this dynamic and growing conspiracy, I mean, er,
company to:

Simon LeGree
SoulWaste Corporation
Telephone: 1-800-FAUSTUS

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