Just before Rosh Hashana, a team of terrorists invades the shul and takes
the rabbi, the cantor and the shul president hostage. Hours later, the
governor stands tough, he wont give them a million dollars, nor a getaway
car nor a Jumbo Jet.

The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them that
things look bad and theyre going to have to shoot them. Nevertheless, to
show that theyre not really a bad bunch, theyll grant each hostage one
wish.

Please, says the rabbi, for the last two months Ive been working on my
Rosh Hashana Sermon. What a waste to die now without having carried it
before an audience. Ill go happilly if you let me recite my sermon. Its
an hour – ninety minutes long, tops.

They promise to grant him the wish.

Please, says the cantor, after 50 years Ive finally gotten the
Hinneni prayer just right. What a waste to die and not sing it to an
audience. Its only about 45 minutes long – then Ill go happily.

The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish too and they turn to
the shul president.

Please, says the president with tears in his eyes, Shoot me first!