Q: How do you kill 4000 lawyers?
A: You build a new Titanic and declare it cannot sink.

Q: Whats the strongest argument against both theories of origin?
A: Politicians and lawyers. Who in their right mind would create (or evolve into) these species?

Q: If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
A: Never enough.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you cant understand.

Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?
A: A lobotomy.

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: Ones a bottom-crawling scum sucker and the others just a fish.

Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?
A: Ones slimey and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.