Everyday I give thanks to God I was born a man instead of a broad When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV I dont shave my legs, I stand up to pee I go to a barber, not a beauty salon Dont pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on Dont wax my pubes so I can wear shorts I use my turn signal, I understand sports

Man, Im glad Im a man, man Tell you the reason I am I dont go through a faze every 28 days

Man, Im glad Im a man I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons Dont take a lot of friends when I go the the john I dont throw a fit when I break a nail I dont buy a lot of shoes just because theyre on sale I dont apply makeup in my rear-view mirror I dont think of Bambi when Im out hunting deer I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass I dont ask my friends about the size of my ass

Man, Im glad Im a man, man Tell you the reason I am I dont face the pain of water-weight gain Man, Im glad Im a man

Let me tell you ladies Listen to me ladies I love those things inside of your blouse I love your pretty faces Your warm and soft embraces But if I had my own two boobs, Id never leave the house

I dont spend two hours getting ready for a date I dont play with dolls unless they inflate When someone asks me my age, I never lie After sex in bed, my spots always dry I dont read about orgasms in Vogue magazines I dont mind if my dates try to get in my jeans I dont spend a fortune on French lingerie This is the same underwear I wore yesterday

Man, Im glad Im a man, man Tell you the reason I am I dont take a pill, I dont use Massengill Man, Im glad Im a man

Man, Im glad Im a man, man Tell you the reason I am I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin Man, Im glad Im a man