Im picturing lovely ribbons winding like candy canes down the iron
bars, and useful storage containers shes built that glide easily below
her bunk bed in which shell store sheets and linens from K-Marts
going-out-of-business sale.
The lone toilet will be transformed into a bouquet spilling over with
toilet paper flowers, into which a trickling cascade of water will flow
from the sink in a bird bath-like fashion, in an effort to attract sparrows
through the open bars of her window.
Once trapped in her cell, the sparrows will be slowly roasted with
matches for which Martha will have gotten by beating up her cellmate.
They will be stuffed with acorns found in the prison courtyard. I hear
its Marthas intention to collect enough birds to offer a Thanksgiving
feast to all those who continue to subscribe to her magazine, even
while in prison, although she has asked that each of them commit
to a year of service as part of her newly appointed staff.
I believe she plans to save all the rolls from her dinner tray to build a
decorative wall between her bed and that of her cellmate, as Sam
Waksals taste clashes wildly with hers.
Her future plans include melting down the gold she plans to collect
from the teeth of other inmates, with which she will guild invitations
to her own escape. With a spoon she has forged into the shape of a
melon baller, Martha plans to scoop out marble-sized bits of her cell
floor until she has made it safely under the prison walls to freedom.
Any prison guards in pursuit will lose their footing immediately on the
thousands of marbles she plans to leave in her wake, each one
perfectly round.
As a parting gesture, Martha plans to moon the prison. Tattooed on
her cheeks is written: Its a good thing.
03
Jun
Additional Jokes From "General / Unsorted"
- How to use an ATM machine…
- At the blood donor clinic
- The Boy Who Wrote To God
- New Programming Language: C + –
- Afrer heart attack
- Few occupational hazards
- X-Files: The science adviser to whaaat?
- Knock, Knock
- Bill Collector
- Jobs and Work joke #11019
- After 3 husbands – still virgin (Risque)
- Dont Ask . . . Dont Tell . . .
- Survey on italian men
- Smoke rings
- Clinton Strikes again