03
Jun

Marthas Life In Jail

Im picturing lovely ribbons winding like candy canes down the iron



bars, and useful storage containers shes built that glide easily below



her bunk bed in which shell store sheets and linens from K-Marts



going-out-of-business sale.



The lone toilet will be transformed into a bouquet spilling over with



toilet paper flowers, into which a trickling cascade of water will flow



from the sink in a bird bath-like fashion, in an effort to attract sparrows



through the open bars of her window.



Once trapped in her cell, the sparrows will be slowly roasted with



matches for which Martha will have gotten by beating up her cellmate.



They will be stuffed with acorns found in the prison courtyard. I hear



its Marthas intention to collect enough birds to offer a Thanksgiving



feast to all those who continue to subscribe to her magazine, even



while in prison, although she has asked that each of them commit



to a year of service as part of her newly appointed staff.



I believe she plans to save all the rolls from her dinner tray to build a



decorative wall between her bed and that of her cellmate, as Sam



Waksals taste clashes wildly with hers.



Her future plans include melting down the gold she plans to collect



from the teeth of other inmates, with which she will guild invitations



to her own escape. With a spoon she has forged into the shape of a



melon baller, Martha plans to scoop out marble-sized bits of her cell



floor until she has made it safely under the prison walls to freedom.



Any prison guards in pursuit will lose their footing immediately on the



thousands of marbles she plans to leave in her wake, each one



perfectly round.



As a parting gesture, Martha plans to moon the prison. Tattooed on



her cheeks is written: Its a good thing.

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