31
Dec

Memo From Accounting Department

It has come to our attention recently that many of you



have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts



of Miscellaneous Unproductive Time (Code 5309). However,



we need to know exactly what you are doing during your



unproductive time.



Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended



job code list based on our observations of employee activities.



The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of



precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.



Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let



us know about any difficulties you encounter.



Thank you,



Accounting



Attached: Extended Job-Code List



. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .



Code Description



****************



5316 – Useless Meeting



5317 – Obstructing Communications at Meeting



5318 – Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting



5319 – Waiting for Break



5320 – Waiting for Lunch



5321 – Waiting for End of Day



5322 – Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker



5323 – Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While



Coworker is Not Present



5393 – Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend



5400 – Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not



Interested in Learning



5401 – Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid



5402 – Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You



5481 – Buying Snack



5482 – Eating Snack



5500 – Filling Out Timesheet



5501 – Inventing Timesheet Entries



5502 – Waiting for Something to Happen



5503 – Scratching Yourself



5504 – Sleeping



5510 – Feeling Bored



5511 – Feeling Horny



5600 – Complaining About Lousy Job



5601 – Complaining About Low Pay



5602 – Complaining About Long Hours



5603 – Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)



5604 – Complaining About Boss



5605 – Complaining About Personal Problems



5640 – Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining



5701 – Not Actually Present At Job



5702 – Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu



6102 – Ordering Out



6103 – Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive



6104 – Taking It Easy While Digesting Food



6200 – Using Company Resources for Personal Profit



6201 – Stealing Company Goods



6202 – Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company



Goods



6203 – Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls



6204 – Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls



to Sell Stolen Company Goods



6205 – Hiding from Boss



6206 – Gossip



6207 – Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)



6210 – Feeling Sorry For Yourself



6211 – Updating Resume



6212 – Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter



6213 – Out of Office on Interview



6221 – Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching



6222 – Pretending to Enjoy Your Job



6223 – Pretending You Like Coworker



6224 – Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality



They Are Jerks



6238 – Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing



6350 – Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl



6601 – Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)



6602 – Complaining



6603 – Writing a Book on Company Time



6611 – Staring Into Space



6612 – Staring At Computer Screen



6615 – Transcendental Meditation



6969 – Beating off in Broom Closet



7281 – Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)



7400 – Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone



7401 – Talking With Plumber on Phone



7402 – Talking With Dentist on Phone



7403 – Talking With Doctor on Phone



7404 – Talking With Masseuse on Phone



7405 – Talking With House Painter on Phone



7406 – Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone



7419 – Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone



7425 – Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone



7931 – Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity



8000 – Recreational Drug Use



8001 – Non-Recreational Drug Use



8002 – Liquid Lunch



8100 – Reading e-mail



8102 – Laughing while reading e-mail

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