Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo got into a terrible argument.
I am the most beautiful person in the world, proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
No, youre not, said Quasimodo and Tom Thumb in unison.
I am the smallest person in the world, shouted Tom Thumb.
No, youre not, said Sleeping Beauty and Quasimodo.
I am the ugliest person in the world, announced Quasimodo.
No, youre not, said Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
They decided they needed a mediator in order to get along. Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, was the ideal choice. Merlin summoned the trio to his palace, where he met with them individually.

Sleeping Beauty entered first and emerged just a moment later, beaming. I am the most beautiful person in the world. Merlin said so.

Tom Thumb was next. He returned just as quickly and declared, I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin said so.

Quasimodos turn came. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour. Finally, more than an hour later, he emerged, distraught. He muttered Who the hell is Janet Reno?