Mirror, mirror
on the wall

Do you have to tell it all?

Where do you get the glaring right

To make my clothes look just too tight?

I think Im fine but I can see

you wont cooperate with me;

The way you let the shadows play

Youd think my hair was getting gray

Whats that, you say? A double chin?

No, thats the way the light comes in;

If you persist in peering so

Youll confiscate my facial glow,

And then if youre not hanging straight

Youll tell me next Im gaining weight;

Im really quite upset with you

For giving this distorted view;

I hate you being smug and wise –

O, look whats happened to my thighs!

I warn you now, O mirrored wall,

Since were not on speaking terms at all,

If I look like this in my new jeans

Youll find yourself in smithereens!