Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Mirror, mirror
on the wall

Do you have to tell it all?

Where do you get the glaring right

To make my clothes look just too tight?

I think Im fine but I can see

you wont cooperate with me;

The way you let the shadows play

Youd think my hair was getting gray

Whats that, you say? A double chin?

No, thats the way the light comes in;

If you persist in peering so

Youll confiscate my facial glow,

And then if youre not hanging straight

Youll tell me next Im gaining weight;

Im really quite upset with you

For giving this distorted view;

I hate you being smug and wise –

O, look whats happened to my thighs!

I warn you now, O mirrored wall,

Since were not on speaking terms at all,

If I look like this in my new jeans

Youll find yourself in smithereens!

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