A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while hes drinking the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyones amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, Did you see what your monkey just did? The guy says No, what? He just ate the cue ball off my pool table … whole! Yeah, that doesnt surprise me, replied the guy, He eats everything in sight, the little bugger. Sorry. Ill pay for the cue ball and stuff. He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the Monkey ate, then leaves Two weeks later hes in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his bum, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. Did you see what your monkey did now? No, what? replies the guy. Well, he stuck a cherry up his bum, pulled it out, and ate it! said the bartender. Yeah, that doesnt surprise me, replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight, but ever since the cue ball incident, he measures everything first.