I dont suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Theres too much blood in my alcohol system.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Youre just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Im not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Jesus paid for our sins… now lets get our moneys worth.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Prevent inbreeding: ban Country & Western music.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his bus.

Lord save me from your followers.

God must love stupid people. He made so many.

I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen.

Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.