Thank you for calling the Motion Picure Association of America. We cant come to the phone right now, as were too busy bribing various politicians to pass laws favorable to us, and over-dramatically pretenting that Hollywod is going out of business because of VCRs and DVD burners.

At the sound of the tone, please scratch all of your DVDs with a key or other sharp object, and proceed immediately to the store to repurchase them over and over.