17
May

New computer doctor

One day Pete was complaining to his friend my elbow hurts. I better see a doctor.

His friend said Dont do that. Theres a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. Its quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.00.

Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weird noise and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said:

You have tennis elbow.

Soak your arm in warm water,

avoid heavy labour,

it will be better in two weeks.

Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:

Your water is hard,

get a softener.

Your dog has worms,

get him shots.

Your daughters using cocaine,

get her into a rehab clinic.

Your wifes pregnant,

its not yours,

get a lawyer.

And if you dont stop jerking off,

Your tennis elbow will never get better!

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