AFROPHOBIA
Fear of the return of the 70s hair styles (or the Jackson Five).

PSEUDONYMHOMANIA
Compulsive desire to have a lot of sex under an assumed name.

DEJA FLU
The feeling that one has had this cold before.

HYPOCOINDRIA
Fear of not having correct change.

HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX
Rash caused by wearing a toupee in a pool.

HERPES CINEPLEX
Rash caused by movie tickets priced at $9.50.

CELESTIAL SEASONINGS AFFECTIVE DISORDER
Herbal-tea addiction.

VISACARDITIS
The heart-stopping sensation brought on by exceeding your
credit limit.

ALPOPLEXY
Canine feeding disorder.

STREISAND-BROLIN SYNDROME
Excessive displays of affection.

SONSTROKE
An attack during the reading of a will

ROSWELL-BABY SYNDROME
Irrational fear that ones infant might be an alien.

POST-DRAMATIC STRESS DISORDER
Formerly David Caruso/Shelley Long Syndrome.

RUMBATOID ARTHRITIS
Joint stiffness caused by La Vida Loca.

OREOPOROSIS
Disorder caused by too many cookies, not enough milk.