On a cardboard windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place

(why…a duh!)

On an infants bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

(ah-ha! So thats what happened to my little sister!)

On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

(oh sure…now they tell me!)

On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.

(aye matey…but the sharks love em!)

On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.

On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.

On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

(well thats just great…now what do I use!)

On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2- shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.

(now you know WHY there was a Y2K bug!)

On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.

On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.

(he-he…I gotta try this one!)

On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting.

On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only.

On childrens alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

(hmmm…I think Ill test this one out on my nephews 🙂