09
Apr

One day in Clintons future (adult)

One day in the future, Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

I dont know what to do here, says the devil. Youre on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so Ill tell you what Im going to do. Ive got a couple folks here who werent quite as bad as you. Ill let one of them go, but you have to take their place. Ill even let you decide who leaves.

Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

No, Bill said. I dont think so. Im not a good swimmer and I dont think that I could do that all day long.

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Al Gore with a mop and a room full of spotted owls. All he did was clean up owl droppings, hour after hour after hour.

No, no, this really stinks. I would be in constant agony if I had to smell owl shit all day, commented Bill.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Clinton saw Jesse Jackson, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what Monica does best.

Clinton looked at this in disbelief and finally said, Yeah, yeah, I can handle this.

The devil smiled and said OK, Monica, youre free to go!

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