Only in America… can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

Only in America… are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.

Only in America… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America… do people order double cheese burgers, large
fries, and a diet Coke.

Only in America… do banks leave both doors to the vault open and
then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America… do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America… do they use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so they wont miss a call from someone they
didnt want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America… do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.

Only in America… do they use the word politics to describe the
process so well; Poli in Latin meaning many and tics meaning
bloodsucking creatures.

Only in America… do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.