Opium is the religion of the masses.

Heres a few I read in some verysmalledition book of Soviet Anecdotes.

An old woman is riding a crowded bus and has to stand with her heavy packages.
Finally, someone in front of her gives up a seat and so she grabs it.
Thank God, she says.

A man in the seat behind her says, Excuse me comrade, but this is an athiest
society. You should say Thank Stalin, not Thank God.

Of course you are right, the old woman says. Thank Stalin. She is
silent for a moment, then says: Comerade, I have just had a terrible thought:
What shall we say when Stalin dies?

The man behind her replies, In that case I think we can say Thank God.

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