16
Sep

Knock Knock Whos there? Hollis! Hollis who? Hollis forgiven,

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Hollis!
Hollis who?
Hollis forgiven, come back home!

16
Sep

East Carolina University

Q: How many East Carolina University students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, but it takes six years!!

16
Sep

Everything is actually everything else,

Everything is actually everything else, just recycled.

16
Sep

Life is a sexually transmitted

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

16
Sep

black joke

What is the difference between a black guy and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four!!!

16
Sep

Micheal Jackson

What is it called when 3 little boys are in the middle of Micheal Jacksons Pool?

16
Sep

Titanic and two jews

There wore two jews on the Titanic. They were named Moshe and Jankele. Both of them survived. In the saving boat, Moshe cried and cried. To be friendly to him Jankele said:


Why are you crying? The boat wasnt yours.

16
Sep

Good Excuse

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

Theres no way they can catch a Mercedes, he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…..Then the reality of the situation hit him. What am I doing? he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

Its been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and its Friday the 13th. I dont feel like more paperwork, I dont need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I havent heard before, you can go.

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!

Have a nice weekend, said the officer.

16
Sep

You might be a redneck if…

You might be a redneck if…
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.

16
Sep

How Hell froze over.

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. Follow me he said, opening the gate and walking in.

After some walk, Saint Petes keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldnt resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing.

Saint Pete was furious.

If you do that again, Youll go straight to hell! But follow me, were almost there.

After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.

Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass of.

Why is it so god damn cold down here? Pete asks.

Well you just try bending down for firewood!! The devil replied.

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