11
Feb

Yo mama is so ugly

Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

11
Feb

Love dress

A young girl gets married and a few days later her mother goes to visit. When she knocks on the door, she is shocked to see her daughter open it naked. What are you doing? she asks. Mom, its my LOVE dress!! Dont you like it? Ill come back in a few weeks when the honeymoon is over replies the mom.
When she goes back, she is shocked when once again her daughter is naked. Now what are you doing? Mom, its my LOVE dress. It keeps the marriage spicy!
Later that night the mom decides to try it for herself. When her husband comes home, he gives the same reaction: Honey, what are you doing? she give him the same answer her daughter gave her, Its my LOVE dress! What do you think of it? Her husband thinks long and hard and says, I think you should have ironed it!

11
Feb

Llega un borracho a una

Llega un borracho a una cantina y dice:

¡Todos los del lado derecho son putos y todos los del lado izquierdo vayan a chingar a su madre!

Entonces se levanta un tipo que estaba sentado del lado dercho y le grita: ¡Oyeme, yo no soy ningún puto!

El borracho le contesta: ¡Pues pasate para el otro lado!

11
Feb

Una nia le hace la

Una niña le hace la parada a un camión de transporte urbano y le pregunta al chofer:

¿Disculpe, va para el zoológico?

Así es.

¡Que se diviertan!

11
Feb

Stevie Wonder

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders car?



Neither has he.

11
Feb

Knock Knock Whos there? Egbert! Egbert who? Egbert no

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Egbert!
Egbert who?
Egbert no bacon please!

11
Feb

Why do [ethnics] wear long

Why do [ethnics] wear long dresses?

To hide the pest strips.

11
Feb

A priest and a rabbi

A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the
street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they
decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it
home and parked it in the street between their establishments.

A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling
water on their new car. It didnt need a wash, so he ran out and asked
the priest what he was doing. Im blessing it the priest replied.

The rabbi replied Oh, then he ran back into the synagogue. He
reappeared a few minutes later with a hack saw, ran to the car and cut
off the last 2 inches of the tailpipe.

11
Feb

Heisenberg may have been here.

Heisenberg may have been here.

11
Feb

Fruit

whats yellow and grows on apple trees?

A stupid bananna