07
Dec

It is once

It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).

Yet Another Darwin award candidate – or pair of candidates — this just might be the winner!

07
Dec

Undercover detective

A tourist asks a man in uniform, Are you a policeman?

No, I am an undercover detective.

So why are you in uniform?

Today is my day off.

07
Dec

Impossible Wish

A man walking along a beach stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it, and out popped a genie.

The genie said, Okay…you released me from the lamp… blah, blah, blah. You get one wish!

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, Ive always wanted to go to Hawaii, but Im afraid to fly as I get a sick feeling within. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?

The genie laughed and said, Thats impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Also, think of how much concrete would be needed…how much steel!! No, you must think of another wish.

The man said, Okay, and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, Ive been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I dont care about them and that Im insensitive. So, I wish I could understand women, know how they feel inside, what theyre thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why theyre crying, know what they really want when they say nothing, know how to make them truly happy…

The genie looks at the man and asks, You want that bridge two lanes or four?

07
Dec

En su primer viaje como

En su primer viaje como piloto de avión, Venancio presencia la muerte de su capitán de vuelo a consecuencia de un paro cardiaco.

Una vez cerciorado de que el capitán está bien muerto, Venancio se comunica con la torre de control:

¡Jolines, acá Venancio pidiendo contacto con alguna torre de control!

Aca torre de control, díganos que sucede.

¡Pues naa que mi capitán se ha muerto y necesito indicaciones para aterrizar esta nave!

Ok, primero díganos su altura y posición para proceder al aterrizaje.

Después de unos segundos de silencio Venancio contesta, Bueno, mi altura es de 1.68 mts y mi posición es acá a un ladito del muertito!!!

07
Dec

Entra un pequeo gnomo en

Entra un pequeño gnomo en un farmacia y dice:

Por favor, ¿podría darme una cajita de preservativos?

Y el farmacéutico le pregunta:

¿Control?

Y responde el gnomo, horrorizado:

¡Nooooo! ¡Sin Troll, sin Troll!

07
Dec

Knock Knock Whos there? Iona! Iona who? Iona a

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Iona!
Iona who?
Iona a great train set!

07
Dec

Four is equal to five

Theorem: 4 = 5
Proof:
-20 = -20
16 – 36 = 25 – 45
4^2 – 9*4 = 5^2 – 9*5
4^2 – 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 – 9*5 + 81/4
(4 – 9/2)^2 = (5 – 9/2)^2
4 – 9/2 = 5 – 9/2
4 = 5

07
Dec

A

A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

07
Dec

No Jello

07
Dec

Women will never be

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a big gut, and still think they are beautiful.

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