Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors.
Takes pride in work: Conceited.
Unlimited potential: Will stick with us until retirement.
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Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
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Expresses self well: Can string two sentences together.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.
Happy: Paid too much.
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En la época de los faraones cuando todavÃa no existÃa la escritura y todo lo escribÃan en jeroglÃficos, dos esclavos se pusieron a trabajar en las paredes de una pirámide; uno
dictaba lo que se querÃa expresar y otro dibujaba los jeroglÃficos.
Dice el que dictaba: primero describamos al faraón y comienza: el faraón es bondadoso, y el otro se mataba dibujando…
Continúa: el faraón es honesto y de nuevo a dibujar… Prosigue el tipo:
el faraón es amable y de nuevo dibujando en las paredes…
Y finalmente dicta: el faraón es viril, y el que dibujaba interrumpe su trabajo y pregunta: Disculpe, ¿cómo se escribe viril? ¿con un huevo o con dos?
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En que se diferencian las Mujeres Modernas de las Mujeres Clásicas.
- A las Mujeres Clásicas para verles el culo hay que apartar a un lado las bragas.
- A las Mujeres Modernas para verles las bragas hay que apartar a un lado el culo.
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Have you heard about the new Jewish car?
Not only does it stop on a dime, it picks it up.
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HOW NOT TO ROB A BANK
Pick The Right Bank:
You dont want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.
Study Your History:
Dont try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang.
Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy down. Theyre tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.
Speak To The Right Teller:
One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until
authorities arrived.
Dont Sign Your Demand Note:
Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh… on an envelope bearing the name and address of another in Detroit. And in East
Hartford, Connecticut, on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robbers signature and account number.
Dont Advertise:
A teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention from her face by wearing a see-through blouse with no bra while holding up banks.
Go Easy On The Disguise:
One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be positively identified by lip-print.
Take Right Turns Only:
Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn into the Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a tollbooth, offered the security men money.
Be Aware Of The Time:
Imagine the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Massachusetts, who hit the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to escape through downtown North Adams, where he was trapped in rush hour traffic
until police arrived.
Consider Another Line Of Work:
Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly.
Be Strong:
Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car parked nearby had the keys locked inside.
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A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement where she finally found her husband crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing. Whats wrong with you? she asked him.
Remember when your father caught us having sex when you were sixteen? he replied. And remember he said I had two choices: I could either marry you, or spend the next twenty years in prison.
Baffled, she said, Yes, I remember, so what?
The husband sobbed, I would have gotten out today.