Little Johnny – Give

Little Johnny is in class and the teacher is at the chalk board. She turns to the class after putting the letter S on the board. Ok class, I would like someone to give me a word that starts with the letter S. Johnny raises his hand and says Me me me me.

The teacher says to herself no way. hes so fouled mouth he will say shit or something.

So she calls on Suzzy. Suzzy says Sunflower.

Very good Suzzy. Then she outs the letter f up on the board little Johnny wonce again is saying ME me me. She says Franklin give me a letter thats starts with the letter F.

Franklin says funny teacher.

Very good Franklin.

This went on for most of the class. Finally she put the letter R up on the board. Johnny sat scratching his head like he was thinking real hard. She thought alright I got him.

Johnny can you give me a word that starts with the letter R?. Yes. Johnny says.

Rats. teacher.

Very good Johnny.

Then he said big fucking rats three foot long with sixteen in harry dicks.

The teacher faintede.


La madre de tres hijas

La madre de tres hijas les pregunta a cada una cómo tienen el miembro sus respectivos esposos.

La primera anuncia que su esposo lo tiene largo pero delgado; a lo que la madre responde:

Eso es elegancia, hija.

La segunda responde que su marido lo tiene gordo pero corto; a lo que la mamá declara:

Eso es potencia, hija.

La tercera informa, con ternura, que su hombre lo tiene largo y gordo; la madre manifiesta:

¡Eso es verga, mhija.


The Very Special Parrot!

A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.

So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in the back.

Now this is the perfect pet for your wife, Chet is an very special animal the salesman said.

What makes him so special? the man asked.

The salesman took a lighter from his pocket and held it under the Chets right foot, and Chet started to sing Jingle bells, jingle bells.. and then the salesman held the lighter under is left foot and Chet started to sing Deck the halls…

So the man asked, What happens if you hold the lighter between his feet?

Well I dont know answered the salesman.

So he holds the lighter between the parrots legs and instantly Chet began to sing…

Chets nuts roasting on an open fire…



A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars.

Why, does the parrot cost so much? asks the man. The owner says, Well the parrot knows how to use a computer.

The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and

is told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, What can it do?

To which the owner replies, To be honest I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!


Evils of Liquor

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

Now, class. Observe closely the worms, said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment? the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, Drink whiskey and you wont get worms.


The Last Ones Law Of

The Last Ones Law Of Program Generators: A program generator creates programs that are more buggy than the program generator.


Why do Samoans have big

Why do Samoans have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers.


Why isnt Monica Lewinsky talking

Why isnt Monica Lewinsky talking to the press?

Shes under a gag order.


Did you hear about the blonde who…

…took an hour to cook Minute Rice?


More Fun

A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun – they just dont remember who with.

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