25
May

Q: How many blondes

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: It depends how many blondes there are, but some people prefer it with the lights off.

25
May

what do you get?

What do you get with a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite hahahaha

25
May

Pap llega en viaje de

Papá llega en viaje de negocios y en casa le esperan expectantes sus dos hijos: Juanito y Pepito.

¡Qué nos trajistes papito! gritan los niños.

El papá empieza a abrir las maletas y a sacar los regalos:

Para Juanito: este lindo Nintendo… Para Juanito: este lindo traje de astronauta… Para Juanito: este lindo computador…

Y así, el papá saca y saca regalos para Juanito.

Al final, saca un autito Mach-box:

Y para Pepito, este lindo autito Mach-box.

Finalmente, el papá se retira y ambos niños se quedan jugando en el dormitorio. Juanito toma todos sus regalos y empieza a jugar con ellos mientras observa como Pepito en un rincón juega con su único autito.

A Juanito, como a todo niño, le molesta la falta de envidia de su hermano y empieza a cantar:

Yo tengo un Nintendo… Y tengo un traje de astronauta… Y tengo un lindo computador…

Mientras tanto, Pepito, mueve con la mano su autito mientras canta calladito:

Y yo no tengo cáncer… y yo no tengo cáncer…

25
May

Frases tiles para que los

Frases útiles para que los gringos no se queden sin comer en México.

Hungry?

Para ordenar huevos:

Web us come ham on

Web us come toss see no

Web us tea be us

Web us come shore is so

Web be toes come free hall lit toes

Para ordenar tacos:

Does stack kit toes door add it toes the Paul Joe

Does stack kit toes the car neat as

Para acompañar a los tacos:

Come chill leap toes hall up pen Joes

Para acompañar a la carne asada:

Come chill lack kill less

E free hall lit toes

Para ordenar bebidas:

Train us on six the shell as

Kiss sea ram must does tea kill as

Y después de un taco… un buen tabaco:

See Gary toe?

Y si les agradó la comida:

Much as grass see ass.

25
May

Ramn, un camionero robusto y

Ramón, un camionero robusto y fornido, lleva su carga para el interior del país en época de carnaval. El día va transcurriendo a medida que canta su canción:

Yo soy Ramón, el más machón y manejo este camión…

Entre canto y canto, advierte que una monja está haciendo autostop. Se detiene, y la religiosa sube al camión. Él sigue cantando su canción, cuando aquella le propone que hagan el amor. Ramón, siempre dispuesto, accede.

La hermana le pide a Ramón que mejor lo hagan por detrás, ya que por delante la revisan al llegar convento. Sin problema, aquel acepta. Después de apañarse por un rato, suben de nuevo al camión y Ramón, más melodioso que nunca, continúa:

Yo soy Ramón, el más machón y manejo este camión…

Espontáneamente, la monja corea a Ramón y comienza a cantar:

Yo soy Pascual, homosexual y me disfrazo en carnaval…

25
May

It is once

It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).

NOMINEE NO.7[The. Indianapolis Star] A cigarette lighter may have triggered fatal explosion – Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

25
May

Two teenage boys from West

Two teenage boys from West Virginia were talking.
First one says I had my first sex last night!
What was it like? The second one asked.
Quite good, but her mum walked in on us.
Oh, no! What did she say?
Moo

25
May

the dad

this lady walks in the dentist and said is this gonna hurt and the dentist said no its just a screw.

25
May

Weird get weirder as year near end

Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow:
Enough of the serious stuff. Its a new month and time for Weird Business News – a look at the antics of Homo Businessperson in search of a buck.

Cheers to toy maker Mattel for its new doll, Barbie Loves Frankie Sinatra. We needed Barbie in a metallic dress drinking martinis and smoking.

And thanks to reader Stan Daley who reports the sprinkler he just bought had a sticker on the bottom stating that its for outdoor use only. Dang, I wanted to use it in the living room on my wifes potted plants, he said.

Our At Least the Boss Doesnt Need a Costume Award to the National Retail Federation survey that found 39.1 percent of American workers say they have considered dressing up for Halloween at work.

The Why Remind the Investors What Might Happen Award to Poore Brothers of Goodyear, Ariz., which announced it is dropping its NASDAQ stock symbol POOR in favor of SNAK.

Best Internet Site Name: IveBeenGood.com, an online merchant. Proposed Internet site: IveBeenBad.com for those looking for a good spanking.

The Readability Award to Burlington Resources for the notice of its stockholder meeting set for Nov. 18. On pages B-21 and B-22 theres one sentence that is so long that it cant be repeated here, since it would fill the entire column. Or maybe that should be the Mama, Dont Let Your Lawyers Grow Up To Be Writers Award.

25
May

Blonde and the Firemen!

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, Jump! Jump! Its your only chance to survive!

The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away…the

Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

Cmon! Jump! You gotta jump! say the firemen to the Redhead.

Oh no! Youre gonna pull the blanket away! says the Redhead.

No! Its Brunettes we cant stand! Were OK with Redheads!

OK says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell Jump! You have to jump!

No way! Youre just gonna pull the blanket away! yelled the Blonde.

No! Really! You have to jump! We wont pull the blanket away!

Look, the Blonde says, nothing you say is gonna convince me that youre not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . .

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