10
Nov

Knock Knock Whos there? Isaac! Isaac who? Isaacly who

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Isaac!
Isaac who?
Isaacly who do think this is?

10
Nov

Fun to do during an exam

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

10
Nov

Give Bubba a Chance

It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Bubba is a few credits short and wont be able to graduate tonight.

Well now, Bubba was the starting right guard for Coxs football team, and when the student body heard that he wasnt going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, Give Bubba another chance, give Bubba another chance!

Pat Dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give Bubba another chance. Bubba is told that he will be given a One Question math test and if he passes, he can graduate.

The question is, What is 2 plus 3? Bubba thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, I have it! The answer is 5!

There is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire Cox High School football team jumps up and begins to chant, Give Bubba one more chance. Give Bubba one more Chance!

10
Nov

Pepito va a visitar a

Pepito va a visitar a su abuelito que vive en el campo. Llega la hora de dormir, pero como no había luz eléctrica, el viejecito de 78 años permite que su nieto duerma con él para que no tenga miedo. Ya en la madrugada el viejito grita:

¡Rápido, tráiganme dos putas a mi cama!

Pepito se despierta todo somnoliento:

Momento abuelito, en primer lugar, ya no estás en edad de pedir muchachas, en segundo, son las 5:45 de la mañana y en tercero… ¡Lo que tienes en la mano es de mi propiedad!

10
Nov

Emergency Room True Story

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.

I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the Emergency room right away.

10
Nov

Good news?

A doctor tells his patient –

Ive got some good news and Ive got some bad news for you.



So, the patient asks, Whats the good news, Doc?



And the doctor says, Theyre going to name a disease after you!

10
Nov

Babes and cookie dough

A family with 2 grown up boys would go visit theit grandmother every year for x-mas and the grandma would always make cookies but someone would always eat the cookie dough before she could bake the cookies. so one year she put some bebes in the cookie dough. she would be able to figue out who kept eating the cookie dough. the next morning one of the boys came down and said,grandma, i was brushing my teeth and i puked out bebes! just then the other boy came in and said,grandma, i was jacking off in the barn and i shot a bebe out of my penis and killed a cow!.

10
Nov

Math one-liner

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

10
Nov

A quote on marriage

May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife.

10
Nov

A Russian and a Pollack

A Russian and a Pollack get into a car accident. They are yelling at each
other saying that it was the other guys fault. Finally the Pollack says:

Your right its my fault. go ahead and call the police and just get it over with.
The Russian says:
No, im going to do what we do in my country.
The Pollack says:
Well what is that?
The Russian says:
Well you have to sit in a circle and not get out of it no matter what happens.
The pollack says:
Ok ill do it.

So the pollack goes and sits in a circle in the middle of the road, the
Russian pulls out a pocket knife and slashes the guys tires. He turned
around and saw that the Pollack was laughing, and that made him mad, so he
got out his crowbar and smashed all the guys windows. He turned around and
the guy was laughing even harder. This made him even madder so he took out
a can of gas and torched the guys car, when he turned around the Pollack
was rolling around on the ground clutching his stomach and laughing so hard
that there were tears in his eyes. The Russian ran up to him a said:

Why are you laughing?
The Pollack said:
Because when you turned around I stepped out of the circle.