Pilot Joke

Overheard in a restaurant last night:

An airline pilot with poor eyesight had managed to pass his periodic vision
exams by memorizing the eye charts beforehand. One year, though, his doctor
used a new chart that the pilot had never before seen. The pilot proceeded
to recite the old chart and the doctor realized that shed been hoodwinked.

Well, the pilot proved to be nearly blind as a bat. But the doctor could
not contain her curiosity. How is it that someone with your eyesight can
manage to pilot a plane at all? I mean, how for example do you taxi the
plane out to the runway?

Well, says the pilot, its really not very hard. All you have to do is
follow the instructions of the ground controller over the radio. And
besides, the landmarks have all become quite familiar to me over the years.

I can understand that, replies the doctor. But what about the take-off?

Again, a simple procedure. I just aim the plane down the runway, go to
full throttle, pull back on the stick, and off we go!

But once youre aloft?

Oh, everythings fully automated these days. The flight computer knows our
destination, and all I have to do is hit the autopilot and the plane pretty
much flies itself.

But I still dont see how you land!

Oh, thats the easiest part of all. All I do is use the airports radio
beacon to get us on the proper glide path. Then I just throttle down and
wait for the co-pilot to yell, AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! pull the nose up, and
the plane lands just fine!

Aaron Endelman

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