27
Feb

Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that humans are not only "as innovative as they are cruel," but pretty vain as well.* Wahlbergs neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young apes human pet is a peach-colored dress.* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo." * Kris Kristoffersons surly acting style is a result of the neverending pain of "Millenium"s failure at the box office. * The imagery of the Ape armys red tents taken straight from biblical writings dealing with how women were separated from the tribe during their periods. (Charlton Hestons idea.)* Helena Bonham Carters clothing came under-budget through some seamstress creativity and Rue McClanahans wardrobe. Her wildly trendy haircut however, accounted for %15 of the films budget.* According to ape acting union, the "Ape" Lincoln Memorial had to be scrubbed down with monkey feces in order to get rid of foul human odor. Submitted by: David J. Bleecker
E-mail: DBLEEKER@nyc.rr.com

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