Political Correctness for Teens

No one fails a class anymore, hes merely passing impaired.

You dont have detention, youre just one of theexit delayed.

Your bedroom isnt cluttered, its just passage restrictive.

These days, a student isnt lazy. Hes energetically declined.

Your locker isnt overflowing with junk, its just closure prohibitive.

Kids dont get grounded anymore. They merely hit social speed bumps.

Your homework isnt missing, its just having an out-of-notebook experience.

Youre not sleeping in class, youre rationing consciousness.

Youre not late, you just have a rescheduled arrival time.

Youre not having a bad hair day, youre suffering from rebellious follicle syndrome.

You dont have smelly gym socks, you have odor-retentive athletic footwear.

No ones tall anymore. Hes vertically enhanced.

Youre not shy. Youre conversationally selective.

You dont talk a lot.. Youre just abundantly verbal.

You werent passing notes in class. You were participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations.

Youre not being sent to the principals office. Youre going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.

Its not called gossip anymore. Its the speedy transmission of near-factual information.

The food at the school cafeteria isnt awful. Its digestively challenged.

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