Old Jokes | New Jokes

Post a message asking how to post messages.Lead a tireless crusade for the creation of newsgroups with silly names like alt.my.butt.is.hairy.Put 4 addresses, 5 lines of Geek Code, 6 ASCII-art bicycles, a PGP key, and your home phone in your signature.Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.Post a compendium of old articles from a thread that died months ago with a title such as ** HAS JOE SMITH FORGOTTEN HIS LIES? **Post a 56-part binary MPG file of your dog throwing up to news.answers. Announce that you screwed it up and repeat.Ask readers of rec.music.misc to post their favorite Zeppelin tune for a poll.Reacquaint the readers of rec.humor with the two-strings-go-in-a-bar joke.Determine a perversion so bizarre or obscure that it doesnt yet have its own sex group.Post your new War Heroes of India FAQ to soc.culture.pakistan.Start this weeks new AOL virus rumor.Post elaborate conspiracy theories to talk.politics.misc detailing how ATF agents under the control of Chelsea Clinton and Socks have implanted invisible micro chips in your genitals.Fill that empty mailbox, make new friends, delight your postmaster, and selflessly lead others to riches with a few MAKE MONEY FAST posts.Attempt to sell your sweaty underwear in alt.clothing.lingerie.Correct every spelling mistake you encounter, but misspell the word imbecile in your followup flames.Ask readers of the Star Trek groups when they last had dates.Followup every post in a newsgroup ranking them on a scale from 1 to 10.Establish your own little Usenet niche by writing a Wink Martindale FAQ.Post your trig homework to sci.math and ask the readers to e-mail you the answers, since you dont read the group.Inform the readers of the sex groups that theyre going straight to hell, and then proceed to followup a variety of titillating posts.Post to alt.folklore.urban that this guy that a friend of your uncles ex-girlfri