04
Mar

Preying Mantis Syndrome

The Preying Mantis Syndrome

Many lower life forms demonstrate qualities that, at first, dont seem
very good for survival. For instance, the female praying mantis, after mating
with, well, her mate, will devour him. For the male praying mantis, however,
it is a catch-22. If he mates, he gets screwed out of an opportunity to mate
again. If he doesnt mate, he doesnt reproduce and that is the end of his
family tree (not that all insects live in trees, mind you). This suicidal
behavior is commonly called the Preying Mantis Syndrome – and many life forms
are periodically subject to its wrath. How did the preying mantis become
stuck in such a vicious cycle? This is probably what happened beforehand:

The male mantis arrives at the residence of the female mantis. After some
courtship exercises (dinner, a movie, inserting the diaphragm) they mate. The
female mantis, her lust for…lust being satisfied relaxes while the Male raids
the refrigerator and returns home. This behavior continues until the male and
female (mantissas?) establish a permanent relationship. Then the male
establishes a new pattern of behavior: Football on Mondays, baseball on
Tuesdays, happy hour on Wednesdays, Uh, working-late-at-the-office on Thursdays,
and bowling on Fridays. The female tolerates this to a certain extent, then
files for a divorce. After a long battle, she retires to her alimony-paid
home with a lesson well learned: It simplifies matters tremendously to just
eat him when youre done with him.

Well, through the process of evolution, the Preying Mantis Syndrome is
carried up into the highest life forms, even humans. That is why, one week
out of every month, the female of the species will feel compelled to bite the
head off the male. The Preying Mantis Syndrome is inescapable, but when it
occurs in the female of our species, its best to just avoid them for a while.

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