Real things heard in US courtrooms

Beyond Internet and computer goodies, well hear some real things heard in US courtrooms such as…

Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?

Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.

Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.

Juror: Thats not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth, too.

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?

Juror: I dont want to be away from my job that long.

Judge: Cant they do without you at work?

Juror: Yes, but I dont want them to know it.

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

Judge: And why is that?

Defendant: Because the Public Defender isnt interested in my case.

Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendants motion?

Public Defender: Im sorry, Your Honour. I wasnt listening.

Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkeness. Have you anything to say in your defense?

Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?

From a defendant representing himself…

Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?

Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse.

Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.

Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?

Defendant: No, sir, Im the guy who stole the chickens.

Judge: I know you, dont I?

Defendant: Uh, yes.

Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?

Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?

Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.

Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.

Most viewed Jokes (20)