REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN



1. A guitar has a volume knob

2. If you break a guitars G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one

3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to

4. You can unplug a guitar

5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more

6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset

7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested

8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care

9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.

10. If your guitar doesnt make sounds you like, you can return it

11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar

12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set

13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking

14. If you scratch a guitars back, its unintentional, not required

15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free

16. Its good to have a guitar thats stretched out.

17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.

18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.

19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.

20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.

21. A guitar doesnt take half of everything you own when you sell it.



REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS



1. Women are more fun when the power goes out

2. You cant get your guitar wet

3. Ever try to screw a guitar?

4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4

5. A guitar wont beg to be played

6. Its no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it

7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue

8. Guitars arent very aggressive

9. A guitar wont play you back

10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream

11. A guitar wont scratch *your* back

12. A guitar wont drive you home if youre too drunk

13. A guitar doesnt care who plays it

14. You cant play two guitars at once

15. You cant fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they cant love you back)

16. Its a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.

17. Guitar lessons arent free and arent as much fun.

18. If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.

19. You cant marry a rich guitar.

20. Even a good guitar wont usually last a whole lifetime.

21. Guitars dont taste very good.

22. A guitar wont give you head.